Here's the thing: I love being president. I love the power to change things. I love living in the White House. I love the pretty much nonstop presidential sex my wife has given me since I got inaugurated (for the record, it's about 100x better than senatorial sex and infinitely better than community organizer sex). I love it. But there's one thing I don't love:
The Oval Office-- and I blame Bill Clinton and his voracious sexual appetite.
Now I'm not one of those people who say that Clinton "disgraced the office" because he did some "exit-polling." My problem is that I can't go in there without picturing Bill getting busy with Monica Lewinsky. Now pardon my language, but if I'm even medium-hard when I go into the office in the morning, well, let's just say that image takes care of that. I'm serious. I mean, could a more unattractive couple of people done it in there? I swear, if I ever find out that old Honest Abe did a bit of business in there, I'm going to start working from the bedroom. Seriously, Bill. It's bad enough that I have to sleep in the same room that you and Hillary pretended to have sex in.
The audacity of some people!
IG
